Tag Archives: parents

Dec 18-20 Weekend sum-up

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Dec 18 (Fri):  I really didn’t too much.  As usual, I did my 90 min Bikram yoga, showered and came back to home sweet home. Innisfree was having a “buy six get one free” campaign for facial mask sheets so I bought 6.  Mum saw it and took one once I came back home.  I said, “every time when I ask you if there is anything you want me to buy on way home, you said there’s nothing and now you take from me…” Mum accused me that I am being cheap over a mask sheet worth $1.30.  Maybe I am.

Dec 19 (Sat): Had a weekend work shift until 2 pm.  I really did not do much though – I just reviewed my job application and submitted it.  Talked with a good friend of mine.  We have a lot to catch up.  She said we should meet before the Christmas, but we will have to see.  Came back home, do nothing but watched two movies.  The 39 Steps (2008’s BBC remake version) and 24 Hour Party People.


The 39 Steps was fine – I know it has received massive amount of negative reviews, I liked it.  It felt like watching an old black-and-white classic adventure movie with fast paced plots.  And on the top of that, they got a good-looking man as a main character. Which is a big plus. Yup, like a critic wrote, this guy is a male-version Audrey Hepburn (I don’t know whether this is a good thing or bad thing).  Maybe I’ll check the Hitchcock version too.

24 Hour Party People is enjoyable for fans of late 70/s-80’s music, new wave, post-punk, synth pop, New Order/Joy Division or Manchester music scene.  If no, you might find this movie really, really strange and boring.  Fortunately I am the former and I enjoyed it.  But still, the ending was very random.

Dec 20 (Sun): Woke up at 1:30 ish.  I had a brunch meeting but due to the lack of participants, it was cancelled.  Met Kevin to get my hookah coal tray and screen at Seolleung station.  Then I went to my aunt’s house by subway.  I started to read Postwar: A History of Europe since 1945.  To my knowledge, I ordered a paperback used book on Amazon.  For some reason, the seller sent me a big-ass heavy hardcover edition, originally used for some library in US.  It’s good that I got something more than I paid in terms of value, but it is impossible to carry it in my bag and read on my commute.

As I get off to transfer subway line,   a Korean man about 50-60 years old talked to me in English: “Er, philo? Greek? Latin?” I always get confused whenever this happen.  Is he one of those random annoying scary people found at subway stations? Do I have to speak in English or Korean? Did he mistake me as an Asian American/Canadian/British who speaks no Korean?  South Korea is not the country of best diversity, and many elders just do not get it when Asian-looking person does not speak Asian language.  Some of them even get emotional when Asian-American/Canadian/British speaks in English.  So I made a safe bet – answering in Korean.

“No, it’s written in English.” “Oh, I see.”  Since he and I were all on our way to transfer, he kept following me and asking this and that in slightly broken English.  Oh, I get it: maybe he wants to practice English.  So I started to mix my answer in English and Korean.  He said he had been living in France and Belgium for about 10 years; he came back to South Korea around 2002.  As you might already know, South Koreans have this English fever; so he, too, decided to give it a go, especially because having a French base is a good advantage for learning English.  He seemed like a studious guy, regularly checking BBC news, Le Monde and Figaro: he also had some knowledge of Greek and Latin, and he continuously asked “how’s my English?”

We eventually started talking about my workplace.  He said he knows a professor at the university’s theology school.  Turns out, that professor is a husband of a program director/business professor whom I work with. The conversation was not continued because I had to get off.  But wow, what a small world.

My aunt’s house is not actually a “house.”  It is a building located a bit away from the main street of one of Seoul’s downtown areas.   The building is originally built for offices, but my aunt’s family decided to change the top floor as their living space.  The only drawback is…it’s freezing cold in winter.  The construction worker did not think it as the living space, so the heating system is designed for office building, where you don’t sit on the floor.  My mom and I decided it’s not the best idea to visit them on winter – don’t get us wrong, we love them a lot and their cute shi tzu.

My aunt’s husband is from Kyoungsang Do, a southern state of Korea, nearby the ocean.  So I had a chance to eat a piece of grilled shark meat.  Disappointingly, it was not the funky new taste.  It was just like a big piece of white fish with salt.  But still an experience.

So overall, not a bad weekend, I reckon.

Hard-knock living with parents. I mean father.

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Talking about parents – it’s challenging to live with parents after all that independent boarding school life in middle of nowhere, in the country that scores like 91 on individual independency test.  Especially my father.

Seriously...let me be.

Yeah, seriously. Let me be.

Now all of sudden, just because I moved in back with them, he wants me to treat him like good obedient Korean daughter, and yells at me over not telling him about my career decisions.  He just go to “so you did wrong to me, no?”  Thanks for treating me like 15 years old crazy junior high girl, especially after your daughter has been living in midwest without any acquaintance and in boarding schools, successfully managed to finish my academics and life.

Not that my father did not care about me ever, but for the most part of my life, he never directly called me unlike other fathers.  Most of my words were passed by mom to him.  He’s got a job in a medical field as a professional.  He never experienced the office life.  His time and my time are different.  He admitted that when it comes to business and office life, he doesn’t have much to say.

As a grown up, I can reach out for advises but I ultimately make decision.  That’s how it should be.  As a member of family I let them know about my decision.  Then he gets flipped over because I just didn’t tell him – over something he doesn’t really have an idea.  Even if I do, he just interprets in whatever way he wants to, rather than listening to me, and forces me to agree with his interpretation.  If I add more explanation, he thinks I’m being impolite, talking back.  He said if I don’t want to listen to him, I can just answer either yes and no.  So I tried to go by simple yes/no approach.  Then he just asks and asks and asks for more answer, again calling me impolite and not really taking his words seriously.  It’s like vicious cycle.

Sure, he’s still my dad and I thank him for working hard, supporting the family and not causing any disaster.  But I really don’t want to engage into a conversation with him.  I really wish him to just leave me the fuck alone and stop being nosy, just like it used to be.

PS: Some of you might ask “then why do you still live with your parents?”  There’s no stigma of living with parents here.  It’s very common.  And if there is a chance, I will be more than happy to move out – I’m actually juggling with some plans.