Leave me alone…please.


All of sudden, Yoon and SY (another colleague) called me up to a meeting.  So I did go, asking what’s the topic.  Yoon and SY looked at each other a bit awkwardly, and told me that they want to have a talk about this and that.  First, they brought up that I do not look like I am doing a good job on backing up EC program to HS.  “Well,” I said, “as you know it’s sort of the program’s break.  And the program will be on hiatus for next year, and then there will be a huge change. So there’s not much action going on and I can’t do a thing about it.”

Then they said it’s not about the job; it’s about my attitude, how I do not sound like I respect her.  Oh my god, here it goes again.  I guess it’s no use of talking how HS is getting on my nerves, including language.  Oh well, I’ll just shut up and play fake smiles just until February.  And well, they are correct on this one.  I do not like HS.

Moving on, they said they have heard the story about my leaving.  Thus they wanted to know what are my thoughts. Turns out, the supervisors told their version of story to Yoon and SY – that I only wanted to international jobs but nothing else, and I took it directly to the director without really talking with other supervisors.  You gotta be kidding me. Oh yeah, and Yoon again brought up that I have not been nice to the program participants, careless on here and there, and lacks passion (duh.  How can you be when you are in hell-like situation?).  Done is done, and there is no need to give all the details and such.  I just said,

I: It is pretty frustrating to hear that – I do not know which part of my story transformed into such lines.  All I said was running EC program and other programs together is overwhelming and asked for help. I do not intend to make my ex-manager look bad, but some of our partners said the communications and documentation transfer has become so much better ever since I took it over.

SY: Erm…we thought it should not be too much of problem for you, because you speak better English than ex-EC program manager. And she ran other programs with EC program.

Yoon: And it’s important for a new manager to experience with lot of different things.

Thanks…? You are partly responsible so shush up, bitc*.

I: Look, it’s not the matter of language skill.  There is simply too much things going on, and if you really want a single person to handle it, you really need to let her focus solely on that program.  All the foreign partners have shorter schedule yet multiple number of managers for that program.

Yoon: Oh…we did not know that, why didn’t you talk to us?  That’s what colleagues are for (riiiiiight…) But it’s still not nice to deal with director directly.

I: I’m not that dumb.  I talked with supervisors numerous times to do something with my workload because I just cannot concentrate on anything.  Nothing happened, and only then I talked to him.  I do not wish to cause a big rift in the office or faction in the office.  I do not know what the supervisor told you.  Maybe there has been a miscommunication or lack of sympathy, but that is not how I reacted.

At least they said it is nice to hear my part of story (good). They just vaguely wrapped the talk saying “yeah, we worked with some other companies too and that’s how it goes in Korea.” Partly true, largely wrong, in my opinion.  They also said that maybe I took it too much to myself instead of asking for a help.  Duh! As of Korean programs, they almost intervened too much, and as of EC program, they said they can’t really answer my questions.  And when I did ask for a help, my supervisors went “er…what’s wrong? We don’t get it.”

I really hate it when the bystanders, ignoring help calls when needed, then  all of sudden change/pretend that they are the greatest sympathizers of universe only when the accident has occurred.  If you couldn’t give me a help on time, just leave me alone.

And yes, I will play nice fake smiles for a month to HS.


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