Choosing who/when to be nice isn’t nice

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Dec 16 was crazy day – we had two program graduation ceremonies, and then afterward the entire business school was to attend year-end party at our building…which is pretty ridiculous.  Shouldn’t the year-end party be fun and enjoyable for everyone?  Shouldn’t everyone be able to participate and plan together? Yet the lazy-ass business school office put all the preparation work to our side.  So we worked, all the others just came in, do nothing but enjoying.  During the preparation, this Yoon, the annoying lady whom I talked about before, made me to do another posting here (if you have no idea, please refer to here).

For the planing, we had EH handling all the decoration matters.  She ordered and planned pretty much everything, and we contributed several ideas. The dress code for the party was red, meaning you have to wear at least one item that is red.  We decided to have some red, Santa/Rudolf/Christmas-themed items prepared, because there is always someone who doesn’t keep the dress code.  On the day of setting up, a big pile of red and green, Christmas-themed corsage arrived.  I thought it was very pretty – nice for the party!  While EH and I were trying to figure out how to set them, Yoon came and asked: “what’s this?” EH answered she ordered Christmas-themed corsage for the party attendees who does not have any red items.  Hearing EH’s answer, Yoon started to rant again (sigh).

Why did you order corsage?  People can where corsage anytime, at other parties.  This is Christmas themed year-end party, you should have ordered more santa hats and red bow ties, not corsage.”

EH, listening to Yoon without saying anything, did not look too happy.  I was baffled by Yoon’s ranting.  If she is that unhappy about what was delivered for the party, why did she make EH to do all decorations and item planning? She could have done the planning on her own!  Moreover, as far as I know, EH told everyone about her orders and general plannings.  Even worse, Yoon did not use any of the corsage – what a waste of money.  It’s pretty to look at.  It costed a handful of money for ordering all corsage.  Wouldn’t it be better to make the best use of them?  I seriously wanted to talk back, but it would be no use, and picking on a fight in the middle of preparation chaos is not a good idea: all I could do was saying “I think corsage are fine, they are very pretty” to EH, after Yoon went away.  If you designated some roles or responsibilities to someone, let her handle it; let that person be the boss, not you.

Then this morning, Yoon hit it again.

I had a phone call from one of our old client, H firm, regarding their old executive education program’s government tuition reimbursement.  I used to keep the table for each program’s government reimbursement, but since it is almost the end of year and no reimbursement inquiry for 6 months, I threw that away.  I asked H firm’s staff to hold on a minute, and asked out: “anybody knows where I can check the government reimbursement?”  Out of blue, Yoon said she can answer the phone.  So I did, and she handled the matter.  Then she just lashed out again.

“Didn’t you manage the H program? How can you not know the monetary amount for that one?”

“Well, I had the reimbursement table, but since no one inquired about it for 6 months, I scrapped it away. (And after all, I did not start the program – I took it over in the middle when another manager need to go away for the maternity leave, as**ole.)

“Didn’t you know you can check it directly on the Ministry of Labor website?” – I tell you, she did not sound nice.

NO, I DID NOT. because no one told me and that was my original question – ‘where can I find it’

Maybe she sensed that I was ready to punch her – she was silence for 3-5 seconds.  Then she went really fast, saying where I can search the information.   Why, thank you very much.  How kind of you, but I don’t think I’ll use it.

What really annoys me is that Yoon have never done any nosy, annoying thing to HS – a new manager in our office but 2nd or 3rd oldest in our office.  Probably Yoon is not messing with her because HS is older.  I feel that Yoon is typical person who acts weak in front of “strong” and acts strong in front of weak.  You can’t be always nice to everyone; sometimes you have to be mean, depending on the situation.  However, when starting with somebody, being nice and treat him/her courteously is the right way.  If you just choose to be mean to people who seems to be weaker/lower than you are and vice versa in a very obvious way, that’s the worst.  Even if you secretly think in such a way, you do not show it.

No offense, but thanks to Yoon, now I have developed a (temporary) prejudice against 2nd eldest child out of three and of Jeollado origin.

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2 responses »

    • I know – I like party, I like planning and I believe the party planning should be everyone’s fun job. Even though you are trying your best to enjoy the whole process, you kind of lose it when someone starts whining -_-+ But some parts I was able to enjoy, and once the party started I just sat back, enjoyed the good food and laughed.

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