Talking about parents – it’s challenging to live with parents after all that independent boarding school life in middle of nowhere, in the country that scores like 91 on individual independency test. Especially my father.
Now all of sudden, just because I moved in back with them, he wants me to treat him like good obedient Korean daughter, and yells at me over not telling him about my career decisions. He just go to “so you did wrong to me, no?” Thanks for treating me like 15 years old crazy junior high girl, especially after your daughter has been living in midwest without any acquaintance and in boarding schools, successfully managed to finish my academics and life.
Not that my father did not care about me ever, but for the most part of my life, he never directly called me unlike other fathers. Most of my words were passed by mom to him. He’s got a job in a medical field as a professional. He never experienced the office life. His time and my time are different. He admitted that when it comes to business and office life, he doesn’t have much to say.
As a grown up, I can reach out for advises but I ultimately make decision. That’s how it should be. As a member of family I let them know about my decision. Then he gets flipped over because I just didn’t tell him – over something he doesn’t really have an idea. Even if I do, he just interprets in whatever way he wants to, rather than listening to me, and forces me to agree with his interpretation. If I add more explanation, he thinks I’m being impolite, talking back. He said if I don’t want to listen to him, I can just answer either yes and no. So I tried to go by simple yes/no approach. Then he just asks and asks and asks for more answer, again calling me impolite and not really taking his words seriously. It’s like vicious cycle.
Sure, he’s still my dad and I thank him for working hard, supporting the family and not causing any disaster. But I really don’t want to engage into a conversation with him. I really wish him to just leave me the fuck alone and stop being nosy, just like it used to be.
PS: Some of you might ask “then why do you still live with your parents?” There’s no stigma of living with parents here. It’s very common. And if there is a chance, I will be more than happy to move out – I’m actually juggling with some plans.