Huh? what? I thought I made it clear to the director that I prefer office offering me the amount first. So I answered back: “as I said before, I don’t think its appropriate for me to state the payment first. After all it’s not an auction bidding and I am sure there are other things that need to be considered; such as my time of working here, comparativeness of other managers and so on.”
Then out of blue, they just started bashing me: you’ve been only for one year, we don’t think you are doing a good job running other programs, you work here (? still don’t get it), everyone is working hard taking multiple roles at the same time (again, that was not my point and I hate when the Asian group mentality looms), you can’t just claim your position, do you seriously think you did all of this just because you are too talented (wtf?), it’s rude to just make your own conclusion and try to “teach” your bosses, we don’t think you are doing that good job in terms of other program management, on and on and on. To sum it up, it’s the things I really disliked about Koreans in US – Group mentality devouring individuality and unable to divide emotion from the point or issue. “Why are you making a fuss? No one does.” “Do you think you are the only one who is busy?” “What’s so special about you?” “Oh, now are you talking back to me?” Yeah right. Same old story.
Some of the highlights that my friends greatly enjoyed—-
I: But see, as you saw in my files, I did English communication for the programs that I am not responsible, wrote director’s English speech draft in a day and reviewed his 30 page journal paper too. I did it all by myself.
Boss 1: Look, as a team member, we all help each other.
Boss 2: We all can read and write English in some level.
I: (At this point I was just speechless, so I just stared Boss 2’s face for 5 sec blankly) Alright, then why did you make me do all the English works, even for the things that I am not directly responsible? Sure, if I am working on B program with you, and do the all English communication that is necessary for B, it makes sense. Or, if others do the English stuff on their own and ask me to review it, I’m ready to help. But if you assign all the English parts of B program when I am not in charge of B and working on my own duties, I just don’t know what to do and it’s overwhelming.
Bosses: (Got so confused, fail to understand me) You are not the only one who is taking all the burdens. When EC Program started, Chung (the manager in past, now not in our office) and I did so much work. Before you came here, Yoon and I and Chung did all the speech writing just like you did.
I: Alright, then why did you make me do everything?
Boss: Well, that’s because you were hired as an English specialist.
I: Alright, then why am I getting all the Korean programs too?
Bosses: (Got super confused) As a team we just help each other.
At this point, it became pretty much clear that they wanted someone who just do the job, not someone who can bring up the quality, think hard about new proposals or innovation, or passionate about the work. I am sure they can do some English writing and such. But can they do it better than I am, in terms of natural usage of vocabs and idioms? No. And they took the action of highlighting/emphasizing my value adding achievements as an offence, thinking I am deliberately pulling down everyone. My bosses continued: there is no salary raise, so let us know what you are going to do after the current contract – stay and suck it up or leave.
So after the end of day, I made a decision.
To be continued