Never a Typical Case

Getting so many rejection letters, I think it’s time to rant sort out my thoughts once again.  The tough thing about being a TCK is that you are never a “typical case” in almost anything.

Google up about going to American law school.  There are myriad of articles about how law schools are scamming people, how it’s waste of money, and how it’s worthless.  True.  A lot of American law school graduates are suffering from unemployment, whether they went to Harvard or some unknown, out-of-ranking school (yes, the ranking itself isn’t very trustworthy, I know).

But does that apply to me?  Am I an applicable case to this?  Not really, because I am not an American citizen, though I have American educational background.  If I were an American citizen with family and settled life in the US, I would not have considered going to law school as a good option at this point.  I would rather get a whatever job that comes first.  But I’m not an American.  But I can’t cope with Korean business culture.  I’m in-betweener.

From experience, I know the so-called “common case” never applies to me.  At the end of my college senior year, I had a job interview.  An alum – international like myself – was working there.  I did well in the interview.  I had a plenty of skills matching to their job description.  So, according to the textbook, I should have gotten a job.  That did not happen.  The key was, I am not a citizen.  I graduated from an American college with great reputation.  So even if I did not get that job, I should have received several interview offers.  That did not happen either, because of my vague status.  In States, I was still the “international” whom they had to sponsor visa, or unable to apply at all.

How about in Korea?  Koreans tend to think that if the school’s name is not familiar, it’s not a great school.  In addition, the American schools are valued a bit differently from US; a school that is not very highly regarded in the States sometimes transforms itself a very good Ivy-League-ish school, just because they have a lot of Korean alums or people are familiar with the name.  In Korea, many people haven’t even heard about my school’s name.

The different job interview styles were pretty traumatic for me.  In college, I was trained in American job interview – where you are there to chat, and all is fine as long as you don’t make them think you are a psycho.  But I had to face Korean style job interviews, where everything is very formal, interviewers are able to compare candidates in real time, and most cases where candidates are expected to get the “correct answer” to the questions.  I attended whole lot of interview prep sessions, but certainly I was not prepared to be surprised by the different styles of interview.  I didn’t even know there are different ways.  So no wonder why I ended up shocking Japanese job opening promoter by asking “so, is your job interview more of western or Asian way?”

I know job market in America is horrible now.  I totally agree when someone says “don’t bet too much on getting a job in America as a Korean international after law school,” because I was in a similar situation.  But again, my aim is slightly different.  Many law school students/candidates aim to find a job within America first, and they are citizens.  I’m not a citizen.  Getting a job in America isn’t my priority.  Actually I will be much happier if I get placed into somewhere else.  Many Korean international law students aim to come back to Korea and work.  That’s not high on my list either.  And I just can’t seem to find a solid resource on case like myself.

I have received multiple rejection letters from schools I wanted to go.  It’s irritating.  But, like I mentioned before, being atypical case, maybe not getting into a school that is considered highly in US is better for me.  Maybe I will end up going some school that is not considered very highly in US, but highly in Korea.

What’s most irritating is that there seem to be no resource for me, and I just have to keep on sailing, without knowing what’s ahead – tropical island or shortcut to hell.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Say No Evil?

It has been a while since I last updated anything on this blog.  Well, now’s the time.

1. Good-Bye, old community.  You’ve changed.

I have been a member of certain on-line hobby community.  For the first time, I made a few off-line local acquaintances there.  Though I was not that deeply involved in the incident, and putting who’s right and wrong aside, what recently happened in that community totally put me off.  The community’s purpose is to exchange information and share/discuss thoughts.  Instead, the whole boards were covered with pointing fingers, namings, and dragging personal tweets, blog postings and some personal information.  Maybe I am slightly stronger than average because of my “rough childhood,” some people were dwelling on it forever.  All I want to do is share, discuss, and exchange info on something I like.  Fortunately, I was not directly involved in any of this.  But the whole incident and how it progressed (regressed?) really kicked my affection of that community away.  So yes, I’m done with that.

Maybe I’m biased, but I’ve seen this happening too much in Korean communities.  If there’s something right and wrong, than people who are directly involved need to take it away to somewhere and solve it, instead of spreading it to everywhere and bringing in some unnecessary stuff.  If you are on the receiving side, you’ll probably have to bow down a bit, even if the giver is being an ass (note: not advocating the givers should behave like ass).  If you want to talk about someone on his/her back, make sure it doesn’t leak.  Do not think this person and that person have exactly same opinion just because they are connected.  That is my explanation for why I always kept some distance from Korean group.

2. Marriage of Someone, and You Know All of Her Not-So-Bright Past.

Someone I know is getting married.  Marza (alias) and I have known each other for a while.  We went to same college.  We were friends, and we had mutual friends from childhood.  She turned into something we don’t want to keep close, so I don’t really call her as a friend anymore (I honestly think she needs to see psychiatrist).  Her parents and my parents are still pretty close, and her parents are good people.  I have a lot of story about her, but I’ll keep it short, taking only that is relevant to the marriage.

She was always involved in Korean community, far more than I did.  I wasn’t involved in any of the Korean community in college (had some individual Korean friends, though).  Soon, everyone knew how she was “weird,” “twisted,” “attention-freak,” and “slut.”  She was sleeping around with EVERYONE.  She had a ton of sex toys.  While doing all of these, she had a boyfriend – whom she always bragged about how smart and successful, how they will be engaged soon and how she won’t have to work hard anymore.  It turned out they weren’t in that passionate/stable relationship, and the boy was as strange as she is.  She always tried to show off how American she is.  In fact, she had far less American friends than I did.  She lied to people around her a lot.

Her mom would call my home and complain about her own daughter.  She never worked, except some part-time English teaching job.  She’d complain how her family is “poor.” She asked my mom to find a matchmaker for her daughter, since she had no choice but to marry off.  My mom introduced a matchmaker (also her friend) to Marza.  The matchmaker said she can’t do anything for her – quoting from her, Marza was insincere and could not read air.  She said she can’t risk losing clients and having a bad reputation because of her.

Somehow, Marza’s parents’ friend introduced this Korean doctor guy.  Who knows what happened, but it seems like they hit it off.  The guy is said to be of some rich family, and fond of expensive stuff…like Marza.  But knowing her, and given the fact that he likes her, I think he’s from one of those families where they have $$$ but lacks quality.

Usually, when someone says they will get married – someone who is close to me – I am a bit concerned, wondering he/she met the right person and how they will maintain a stable life.  Then I’m usually happy for them, especially I met them.  For this, I feel relief – for her parents, not her.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they file divorce few years later.

Now here’s the irony.  Few years ago, I was the hermit with few friends.  She went to ton of socials and knew everyone.  Now her parents almost begged me to come to her wedding, saying none of her friends are coming.  Maybe she didn’t invite them, because everyone knows her past and how crazy she is.  If only I did not have any connection with her family, I wouldn’t go either.  But I have to go.  I am terrible at putting a PR face when I’m with someone I really don’t like (business incidents excluded).  Usually, at friends’ wedding, I’d throw bad jokes and mess around with bride before the ceremony.  I can visualize myself just seeing her, with a weak smile, and simply say “hey, congratulations.”